In my wetsuit wearing lifetime the fragrance coming from my wetsuit boots has ranged from the amazing surf shop neoprene whiff to the reek of a 1980s urinal at the local pub where mysterious yellow stalactites would form from the porcelain furniture.
I now finally have taken measures to prevent the stink so I don’t have a tea or a coffee before I surf and I always try and find a nearby bush to empty the bladder prior to donning the neoprene. However, even without using my boots as a yellow water receptacle they still stink but the guys at Coco-Loco have decided to address the problem and to do something about it!
In order to test it out I did the opposite of what I normally do, I decided to cook up a strong bladder brew and test the mettle of the Coco-Loco wetsuit elixir. I didn’t pee first thing then had a nice strong coffee and a cup of tea. I am now 42 and as some of you may know the elastic nature of the human body decreases with age, so to have got to this point felt like a real achievement. At the car park things were becoming quite a struggle as I wrestled my way frantically into my suit and when I was trying to get my boots on I thought that the whole experiment was going to end before it had started. Nonetheless I held things together, got my boots on, grabbed my board and, forgetting to zip my wetsuit, headed for the sea.
The valve went before my boots had hit the water so I knew that the experiment was going exactly to plan. With the bottom half lovely and warm I jumped in the sea. It was a bit unfortunate that I forgot to zip up the suit because I got a bit of a flush which rinsed out some of the amber nectar that I had risked so much and worked so hard for. Just as well I had been so thorough in my scientific preparations because it turned out that there was plenty more to go around.
I surfed for about an hour and a half and felt confident that this was a fairly perfect recreation of the mornings in my 20s when I would clamber out of my van smelling of beer and smoke and get into my wetsuit and use my boots as a porta potty. I think that was the era when my boots must have smelled the worst.
When I got home the smell was bad, in all honesty I don’t think it was as bad as they have been when they were given a blue cheese like maturation period that historically they have had. Nonetheless the stink was awesome and perfect for this experiment.
Doing reviews I tend to read instructions which is very much against my nature but the instructions were what I would have done anyway. Hot water, Coco Loco. Wetsuit and gloves first, boots last. It was honestly like the nasal equivalent of a Cillit Bang advert. I wanted to give the remedy a fair chance so I gave everything a really thorough rinse in the solution, but it was phenomenal. The stink was gone.
Later I spoke to a friend who runs a surf school and he saw the bottle of cleaner that I had and he said that he used it and he always puts stinking pee ridden suits in and that he had noticed the same thing as me. It would have saved a lot of time and discomfort if I had spoken to him initially but that’s life.
From the website I have read that it is non-toxic, helps remove salt from your suit, contains eucalyptus, made in the UK as well as many other great things but it definitely stops your suit from stinking like a urinal.
Of course, once the rinsing process is complete you must hang your wetsuit, boots and gloves on your super awesome best wetsuit hanger in the world c-monsta to dry it all and keep it together for your next session!
Can not recommend the mighty Coco-Loco highly enough.